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The "Scotching" Heat

The electric bill at the house where I've been staying wasn't paid so I've spent a better part of the evening reading by candlelight. After a long week, it was lovely -- and the reading material provided some much-needed comic relief. The article I was reading in Rwanda Dispatch describes Pres. Kagame's visit to a rural village to investigate corruption cases. The article begins, "Thousands brave the scotching [sic] sun that glows and burns with a rage so intense and piercing, to grace this function." I would need a sun scotch if I were investigating these matters. I've started a new collection of malapropisms and inappropriate metaphors. How's this one? It's a story about an orphan whose land grabbed after her parents died. The articles says, "she went to complain to authorities who have been tossing her up and down." Upside down. Boy you turn me, inside out. And round and round. Back and forth, up and down. I get the author's point perfectly

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